Meaningless Life - 4

Even after im just came back from the trip, things still roll on. Just went choir having meeting about apology for left out seniors, this have give me a recall of my memories... Those bad memories which i always dont like. The insult and disrecpect from those people. i still cant let it go and i dont hope to see them in school also. why there is so much suffering to bear with. my wrist and my leg were cut badly...... and i have to withstand the pain..... my worthless life should have be took away but instead it remained. And the eerie sound, the inner pain, the chest pain, i almost could not cope with it anymore. but for my loved around, i have to stay around to give them the best i can.. i hope my hourglass sand freeze so i can have good moment which could not be forgotten...........................................................At least, i still have not tell her the 3 words which i longed to tell her.........

My Countless Wishes

Countless wishes as i want..................but how many can i get... i want to have a bright future....... i want to have my driving licence.........i want to have a good job............................i want to have my own laptop......................i want to have my own handphone...............i want to get Straight As for SPM............................i want to get a house of my own............................i want to have a decent girlfriend.......................i want to have a good time with my family..................i want to go travel the world.....................i want to have my hip-hop trained welll.............i want to have my singing train welll.....................i want to have my own singing group.....................i want to have my academic result done well..............i want to involve in gymnastics........................ i want to be helpful to one others...........................i want to get my martial art skills trained.......... i want to be with my only loved one....................i want to bring my family a better place to stay.......................i want to go shopping................... i want to go play hockey..............................i want to have a good memories which can be cherish with my kai mui............... But what is more.......................is just countlesss dream which will never come true................... because this is just a stupid thoughts which never gonna be reality..................i still wish that i could really get to hold her hands and tell her i love you......................... this is just merely my own imaginations........................... One day, i do hope i could really suceed it................

Meaningless Life - 3

One more meaningless day......................which is my birthday........i should be happy which was not. it was a very pathetic day. Awaiting for my family members. i was lonely now in front of computer, left with my brother which is somehow sleeping. i dunno what to say much. it was merely almost the next day. Just as i cut the cake, my father came back. i was much rather disappointed with the absence of my family members.. somehow not even a whisper could be heard. It was a silent and beautiful night. I looked at the glittering stars at the hanging curtain of dawn and asked, "Have you abandon me, Oh God,"thinkng in my heart. Suddenly, i barely can move my right hand. my right hand.......... I was wondering what happen if i cant write next time or it is just a temporaily effect...Celebrated without lit up the candle, i have made one wish, " i hope all my family members and my friends could be more happy with their lives" my last hope to all my beloved family, friends and closest one. My only wish to all, please grant me this wish ...................oh please grant me this wish............

Meaningless Life - 2

i hated to say this... but there are more clashes which i met. There is so much stress around lately. i wonder if i still can cope like old times. i neither a working machine nor a robot. Why is it keep repeating.. which i really dont like to meet. Know not much of myself either, i cant do anything. Choir practices, project works, stress from teacher , and endless nags from my parents, teases and criticism from those jerks.....i cant really afford to stand a chance against so many encounters in once.. feeeling blue and breakdown is nothing more left to do. Moody times always pass very slow which make me very sad till now.......... There is more a irritating hyena which is do something silly especially beside me that makes me enrage! i will like i going to kick and smash him..........i just hate those irritating and useless people which do nothing but just farting around for attention.. For now i shall prevail to not let loose myself..................................... i wont tolerate jerks

Meaningless Life - 1

The holidays really bored me out. Even all my closest one said so. Either they say me irritating or doing lame stuff. It is so hard to get someone attention which i always couldnt get? My minds is filled with unknown questions... It maybe is my personalities or my look which dislike by peoples.

My friends first things will say im very busy. Then they will start avoiding me. I start pondering if they are even my friends. They surely say something unpleasant. But when i ask another what they doing, they just chating with others..... Thats a EXCUSE to just get me out of their sight.
Even some of my friends take my advantages. The definition of friend, what is it actually? Is someone that dont even say hello with you is friend? What is going wrong?

I was almost wasting my time looking for people to chat and understand me. There is only a few of my friend, which I take them as true friends. Some of them didnt look on the bad way but the other way round. Im glad they didnt treat me as an asshole which everyone did especially my kai mui and some my classmates.

There is still some nice friends to be hang around with. But why majority of them are like this. Urgh i started to think on the silly way. Maybe it is just my imaginations. My instinct told me that im just a kind of stupid fella who always seek of attention. Maybe is just right.... im just an asshole........im just an asshole............ sometime i think life is so meaninglessss........

My sorrow had finally caused me to burst to tears. Although is was quite a shame to cry but i couldn't resist the loneliness that is around me. Lack of love and care, i ran to bed and cried silently while lieing on the bed. Sorry i couldnt say much, perhaps maybe my friends are really busy with their personal stuffs and im the one who always be left out of anything important.
Yet, this is not the end.............i know this is not the end.

The outing in KLCC

Magnificent... finally get to go out after 3 weeks of holiday. Wow a relaxing day... Better time than typing blog and chating in msn haha. That day me and my friends go there by KTM. Haha couldnt say much about that but some of my friends outfit are sweet! Then when we reached there i can smell the fragnant bug smell, ROTIBOY! weeee one of my favourite. Then we go to the book exhibiton which is this trip purpose. THose books really gonna make me mad. What i like is the song at there. Its nice and rock. But there is a book that also catch my attention but my pocket were just empty. Haiz, then we went for a movie. MY friends pay for it! haha no money lah =X ok the movie DOTz nothing to say... it was almost 5 that time then i think we got lost halfway going back.. kakaka well i do hope for another outing next time which i can spend my precious time with my friends and my beloved kai mui haha. This is the last year we are in the same school. i do hope i can enjoy my time together with them

The new thought, a new beginning

This new idea have strucked my mind for so long. A singing group.... is it the choir i seek? Well i do like choir, interesting stuff, a lot of friends i can find, neverending chit-chat crap, and stage performances. How i like choir........hahaha This is one i couldnt forget even after my form 5. I always spend most of my time here with my friends which likes to sing together... This is all about choir. With this new thought which called A capella group, i think it may works well too. It is not something uncommon nowadays... alot of reference i could see haha. Unfortunately, there is not enough people interested for it. I wish i could get to perform A capella for some friends and families especially the one who i cared the most, my family, my friends, my kai mui and even her. This is what i wanted to achieve. I will do the best i can. Hope i can get support from them. A new beginning perhaps for a new group

The suffering

It take me so long for typing this post. Although it have been over for one week. Exam, carnival stuff, malam koko, urgh..... I have to help out and time is getting shorter and shorter... The performance for the malam koko is one i fear. It must be done well... I must put every of my effort in order to train myself well and OF course i have to train another weaker people as well..
Teamwork is everything aiks..........